i [ L O V E ] You GOD

Diamonds

2011-02-12T05:48:00.000-08:00

it's been such a long time since i blogged, this is such a weird feeling :x
i have no idea if this is a good idea, since O's are this year, but anyway nobody would read this (maybe except YOU hillary) haha so yeah

i feel like writing this weird (but enlightening) analogy that i thought of recently.
i think each and every one of us here are like diamonds. God made us in His image right? so we are beautifully and wonderfully made. But we often sin, get angry, harbor bitterness anger jealousy towards others. And sin is somewhat like dirt, and they stick on to the diamonds, making them dirty. The more we get angry, the more we sin, the more we walk off from the path God intended us to walk on, more dirt, more mud sticks onto the surface of our diamonds. And we often rely on ourselves and not on God to rescue us from our troubles, hence we heap even more dirt and mud.

So imagine, this really awesome, brilliant, PRECIOUS diamond, being covered in mud and dirt. wouldnt this jewel look like an ordinary rock? Our potential cant be reached, we cant properly shine. And we try our best to wipe off the dirt, with all our strength and energy. And we end up feeling tired, worn out, just because we chose to rely on ourselves.

Well you know, the only way to wipe away all the mud and dirt, is ofcourse, through God! Our detergent (or sandpaper or whatever) is Jesus's blood, the precious blood He shed for us on the cross to forgive our sins. And the only way God's detergent (lol) can wipe the mud clean is when we allow Him to, when we let go of our pride and bitterness and sadness to just rely on His strength, His love and His peace.

After God's sandpapered all the mud and dirt away, our diamonds are clean, and they will be able to shine, to show everyone how bright and wonderful they are! And with every time somebody heaps mud on you, and you allow God to sandpaper all that mud away, you become even shinier and even brighter. And we are able to live up to our potential, and live our lives the way we;re suppose to be.

God's love is all we need. We often forget that and cling to our selfish pride, our ego. We waste so much energy and time, when we just need to kneel and cry out to God to help us. And God always listens. He will rescue us and give us the peace we need.

I love you God. You're all i need :)

2010-03-08T02:22:00.001-08:00

HELLO NANCY IS BACK

YAY

2010-01-30T03:14:00.000-08:00

LOL. FIRST POST IN 10 YRS!!
this blog is
like so dead
i think nobody reads this alrd.. OH WELL
HAHAHA
I DONT CARE
i shall write here now.
for today

anyhuu... i think i miss 2F, and e 8jm and the 8 dahlings and annabel jiale.. actually tts like all the girls LOL
and like sighsssssss
upper sec life soo hard
so many hw and tests

and physics makes me want to fall asleep
sighs....
OH WELL
TMRW GOT CHURCH YAY!!! CAN SEE CRYSTAL.
HAHAHA OK nth to write here
byeeeeeeeeeeeee

2009-06-10T01:11:00.000-07:00

hello
since like 5 ppl ask me to update my once dead blog
today yappy and st come my house !!
actually nic supose to come loh
but anywayss then we play piano guitar and each others phones!!

ok i no mood post alrdy byebye

2009-03-18T04:26:00.000-07:00

i thought you trusted me
guess i was freakin dumb

2009-02-28T03:29:00.000-08:00

hi
council camp was very fun :D
yeah
i updating yeah for me
and
so
yesterday couldnt go west coast coz got dance
then met the rest of my department to eat pizza LOL
oh then we played this trivia game
ahh very fun sia
and i was in the same group as peter chong
zzz
lol
and i made new friends
YEAH
and got to know some better
shi min!! and
some ppl extraded sia
cough cough curtis

lol and i had a nice time :D
my group won i think
180 points? lol yeah

then today had wet games
quite fun lol
yeah ok thats all
i like home from michael buble
hahaaa

i will always remember you.
always

2009-02-10T03:44:00.001-08:00

ok
and some ppl
cheer up kays

CHEER UP HARIS
CHEER UP JOANNE.

SMILE
DONT BE SAD
DONT CRY

NOT WORRTH IT TO CRY
OK
IF YOU CRY
THEN YOU WASTE UR BODILY FLUIDS
THEN
ONE DAY
U NO MORE FLUIDS ALRDY
AND DIE.
[
ok
bye
lol

2009-02-10T03:41:00.001-08:00

oh ya, i pei rachel go her house
then we had 5 mins chiong back to school
then they all in the bus ALRDY OMG
lol
and we had to sit behind MDM CHONG
IT WAS SUCH A WONDER EXPERIENCE
lol
and
rachel brought lollipop and yakult for me
because we are each other's lovess :D lols
but in the end nvr drink

oh well.

and..
ok nth else

if i post everything it will take alot of time
and
I LIKE YELLOW TREES

2009-02-10T03:39:00.001-08:00

heys
today vry tired
ok
lol
.
today go little india. then take photo here there but i too tired to post
and vry fun haha

I super LOVE this song

if you guys think this song is familiar
ITS FROM ENCHANTED

2009-01-29T03:38:00.000-08:00

helloo
today i was vry sad
coz of some people who said im disrespectful
but i dun care lol
my mom say must forgive so i forgive loh
lyk even if she think badly about me i must stay postive and continue trying my best
yeah!
i dun care liao lol

2009-01-25T03:22:00.000-08:00

hi!
today was super fun
went out with crystal! then she treat me to ice cream and fries at mcdonalds but i think i'll pay her back lol and we talked about school and stuff etc and she super nice, help me search for the bus stop lol

then i had to walk like siao to the bus stop lol then went subway go take away food then went to supermarket for a while then i saw kok kin lol then just say hi then went home

ok the end. so boring lol

2009-01-22T03:58:00.001-08:00

OK I FOUND IT! LOL

MUST HEAR K

2009-01-22T03:49:00.000-08:00

I SUPER LOVE THIS SONG LOL
i find him hot

LOL

And i love this boy leh

his voice is so super duper GOOD!

and he is soooo cute leh

omgomgomogmogmogmg I LOVE HIM

but dun have the video clip. he sing this song till super nice:

2009-01-20T03:17:00.001-08:00

you know what i wanna do?
i wanna die so that i can meet my grandpa.

why is it that the people who hurt the most are those that are left behind?

2009-01-20T03:06:00.000-08:00

everything is so friggin messed up.

hi God how r u. do you miss me? because i miss you. do you love me? because i loveyou but i dont know how to talk to you anymore. its crap i know. maybe all along im rly crap. i dont know what i mean to people. i dont know how i mean to you. im scared God. please dont take away anybody. Please take care of her God. pls let me talk to her God before you take her home. God i dont want to hate you. I know i vry dumb i only see whats right infront of me. i know that i cannot understand why you took him home God. people keep saying he in heaven so i should be happy. but they cannot understand how much i miss him. i dont think anybody can understand. i dont know who to turn to and i want to turn to you but i dunno how to. God do you still love me?

2009-01-18T03:11:00.000-08:00

hi
my hand super pain because of the stupid lit hw
lol
:o

yesterday had conference call with ck chey and yappy
i screamed leh
first time lol
so exciting
then i gtg coz my parents came back
zzz
so sad

so many stupid projects. i hate projects lol
but they ok lah
but i dont like presenting lol
the thing we doing for lit
which is
ku klax kan
lol
sound like chicken quaking
chicken dun quak but nvm lol
the pics SUPER scary leh

eeyer then they go hang black ppl
so racist

nvm lol now since obama become president
it shows that ppl arent racist
yeah!

ok random

2009-01-16T02:59:00.000-08:00

crystal,
dont be sad k
whatever happens i'll always be there and
im not angry at you
i wasnt even in the first place
ily k

2009-01-14T03:49:00.000-08:00

let me ask you smth

who in the world do you think you are to still be able to critisise me when YOU are the one who left me?

2009-01-14T03:40:00.000-08:00

do you know whats comforting?
that
God loves me, even though she thinks im crap, he thinks im treasure. and whose opinion is more accurate i ask?

that for every 1 person whose going to treat me like rubbish, there are gonna be 100 more who are gonna be there for you and jia you you when youre gonna give up

that surprisingly, people who you may not know or who you may not even dream of becoming close suddenly reach out and touch you in unexpected ways

that friends who you havent talked in months suddenly starts to comfort you

and that the friends that have been there throughout, those are the true friends.

sometimes i think why my life is so miserable. i dont think its because of the circumstances but its coz of how i react
i can chose to react positively or negatively

2009-01-13T03:37:00.000-08:00

i think
rejection changes you
alot.

im scared to face tmrw
im scared of school
not school
but smb
yup
im scared
im frightened
i dont want to face anything right now

i cant take it
i just want to die

2009-01-11T00:27:00.000-08:00

HOLAA
ok i copied jen
ok nvm
lol

yeahness
i shall start with friday
:
dot dot dots

HAD THE MOST FUN TIME!
i love 1H man
all the girls there are SUPER sweet
lol

last day of orientation
spent alot of time with them
me and tin mei went down to get food
vanessa came along
waited SUPER long
lol
then wen we went up
all the girls were crying leh
omgg

its coz of this boy lah
he very mean ya
so they all crying
like one of them start crying and then like chain effect lyk tt

SUPER SAD
then i hugged almost every girl
lol they super sweet lah
i love them lol

theboys super irritating
got one boy named ruben keep calling me and tin mei sec 1s
lol
very lame sia
bt most of them ok lah

tin mei keep shouting till she lost her voice
lol
crack like tt
but alot alot of fun
okk HAHA

saturday:
i went to undignified with hill!
her church is nice lol
i saw our maths teacher,
we were like
we're ur students
and he was like
oh noooo
lol
funny sia
ok had alot of fun
then i cried leh
the preacher was like start worshipping God and ur chains will fall off
and i keep praising God
i was like
God bless the people who are mean to me
who have hurt me
bless them
and like afterwards i was like
sui bian lah
whatever
you hurt me ok loh
in the past liao
i forgive u alrdy

i felt super peace in my heart
then kept crying leh
the preacher is daniel chua
i got listen tohis preaching before
lol
then cry cry cry loh
i love God (:

tag replies
max : ok thanks lol
rossane: thanks alot for ur kind advice
hillary: ok i GET IT lol
eunice and naomi: thanks for tagging! ily guys

2009-01-11T00:07:00.000-08:00

SUPER LOVE HIM. even thoough he doesnt look tt cute here lol

big boulders

at surabaya

lol palm tree

me and ci lisa! omg i love her so much

me and my sis. yeahness!

2009-01-08T03:32:00.000-08:00

this poem is super touching:

It seems so strange
To know you're gone
I long to hear your voice

But each new day
I overcome
That which was not my choice

If I could just but
Hold you close
Or know that you are near

I wish that I had just
Spent more time
Still you lived too far away

But, now that you are
Dead and gone
There's nothing I can say

I'm upset because
I knew you
Filled to the brim with life

And it's harder for me
To deal
With this endless pain, this strife

SUPER SUPER CONNECTS WITH ME.

everybody says i'll get over it
why cant anybody say i'll be there for you when your're healing

God's the only one who can heal me

2009-01-07T03:13:00.000-08:00

feel so heartbroken leh.
friends think i take them for granted
its like i got so many problems
then one of them said
"next time when youre sad dont tell me about it"

you tell me how wud i feel now leh.

2009-01-03T03:41:00.000-08:00

school just started and alrdy got problems
gawshh

just go away man
you're ruining everything

2009-01-03T03:18:00.000-08:00

everything is so messed up now.
i so badly want to confide in somebody
but dont know who
i read reader's digest bonus section
about the kennedy family and how to cope with death etck
and it made me super sad loh

i dont think i can get over it.
and i dont know if anybody can fill up the hole in my heart

2009-01-01T03:23:00.000-08:00

yeahs i changed my blogskin
not that the previous one wasnt nicee
it was supper nicee
but coz i wanna be positive

2009-01-01T03:15:00.001-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

my new year resolution- BE POSITIVE.!
lol
i missed singapore
but now i miss indo
and all my cousins and aunties and uncles
they are soo nice and welcoming
ok lol
i want to show photos but they;re in my dad's camera and i dont know where that is.

anywayss this song is nice
but its kind of negative
AT FIRST
but its niceee

-its ok if u dun understand it since its in indo but the tune is nice. right?

2008-12-19T21:50:00.000-08:00

hi.
sighs feel so sad.

thanks hillary and toby for cheering me up
unknowingly
LOL
monkey rhymes with donkey
and i am not oval shaped

anyways

my dad wants me to play the piano on my grandfathers's 49 th day-anniversary. whatever you call it.

its so hard being here
he is EVERYWHERE
photos, videos, dvd, tv, computer everything that belongs to him
it reminds me of him
and it makes me so sad
like i make myself not htink about him
but it keeps comming back
i tink God wants me to deal withn the problem
yesterday i cried and asked God to heal me

i think its getting better though it still hurts
and i read somwehre
after a loved one dies
the first few days and the first weeks your friends will support you
but after that your on your own
its so true
not saying my friends dont care
i know they do
but they oso have their own lives
i dun wan to disturb them with my problems

and the 2 ppl im rly close to
one dooesnt noe how it feel so i cant confide in her though it isnt her fault. im not blaming her
and one shunned me before i left to indo and now that person realises it
zzzz
you know who you are
though im not mad at you
just that i think ur the onli person who understands how i feel loh

i thought
going to indo wud be my break
wud be to spend time with my family
but its so sad to see you everythwere
you are everywhere but no where at the same time

im praying alot to God these days
i feel rly close to him
and i feel that he loves me
and he is gonna help me

i am not going to let the devil win this fight
and i will not let the devil instill bitterness hatred and unforgiveness in my heart to the people who have hurt me
and to the people who have made me insecure
maybe you've won the fight
but you're not going to win the war
i have God on my side
go read romans
there's one chapert that says
if God is on my side i am not scared
or smth like that

why should i be scared anyways
no matter how much they can manipulate people
i dont need to be scared luh
if the person actually believe those manipulators
then its not their fault
since the manipulator is super good at what they do
but anyways
im sure
that my close friends will stick with me

dont expect me to respecdt you
you broke my trust
but i'll still be nice to you
coz like i said
Im not letting any bitternes stay
i have God
and thats all i need.

i am NOT scared of you.

2008-12-17T19:10:00.000-08:00

1. facebook doesnt work
2. cant see my tagboard
3. d friendster doesnt work
4. BORED.

i miss you all

2008-12-12T03:55:00.000-08:00

heys
tmrw im going to INDO!!
woo
ok
i'll miss all my friends
esp
these:
hillary
8jm
and
aya everybody
haris toby st annabel

ok
hi
im so high noww
I'LL MISS YOU ALL

i cant sms tmrw coz my phone no money
anyways
BYES

huhuhuhu

2008-12-10T03:04:00.001-08:00

hi.
st being hyper
its very weird
lol
chicken essence

anyways
today had fun
watched movie
but i have blisters
coz my new sandals hurt alot
sian..
but
had fun with eunice annabel say yian and ya fan
ya fan went to watch some weirdo chinese movie
no offence ya fan
anyways
the movie was nice
kind of sick, der language
lol
after de rmovie
eunice was like
how to say the word ah? BEE-YATCH?
NOOOO its BEE-YOTCH
lol
so funny
anyways

i just realised my grandmother hired a personal salon-ist whatever you call it
and im going to onli be able to cut my hair till my cousin's wedding
NOOOOOO
my hair's a mess.
anyways

i miss my friends
and hillary isnt online
WHY ISNT SHE ONLINE

ok byes!

2008-12-09T03:17:00.000-08:00

hello
still very sian
here's a part of my phone call with hillary
_____________________
hillary: so you remember stuff to hold it against people?? omg you are so mean!!!
nancy: eh why you sound like her ah? make people guilty when its not their fault. you are the mean one!!!
hill: so i make you guilty?
nancy: nooo i just stating example
hill: muahahahaha
___

smth like tt lah. not 100 percent correct. we were just joking btw

________________________
hillary: im so pretty
nancy: stop lying to yourself!!
hillary: but im not
nancy: walao SOME people are soo vain luh
hillary: ya lah NANCY so vain
nancy: i toking bout u lah VAINPOT. u and your vainess
hillary: huh wad u toking about?
______________________________

nancy: i knew you were sad! i sensed a negative aura around eu
hillary: oooouuuhhh negative auraaaaaa
nancy: eh u dun make fun of me kay? ITS REAL
hillary: hahahahahhahahaha
_________________________________

yess i know very lame
and I AM NOT LAME EU TOOT also known as HILLARY GOH AN QI

lol.

2008-12-05T03:04:00.000-08:00

had the most fun time today
in like
1 trillion years
and i didnt even expect it. lol

went library with hillary
then i borrowed
4 nice books
2 nice mags
and
1 nice book about autism

woo
i wont be bored at home anymore!
i finished reading one book alrdy

then afterwards
we went swmming!
which was so unexpected
but unexpectancy comes along with hillary
oh well

soo fun leh
go library
talk too loud
then the librarian
come and say
"girls please quieten down abit"
LOL
ya lah hillary
ayooo
lol
the whole time insult me loh
insult bout my weight, everything lah etc
AYOOO
in der libary some more.
she very happy coz my mom approves of her.
=.=

i think im gonna watch twillight with a few friends.
lol
yeah
my life starting to look up again
finally man
lol

hi.

oh and i think i pinched hillary unintentionally
who tell her go splash water at my face
we played a game called
"up and down"
lol
basically
she piggiebacks me
and up meaning
she jumps and drops me
down meaning
she goes down and drops me
LOL.
the down part i purposely didn go down lol

i liked today
besides scraping my toe during swimming
and stomachache
i still had fun

and
HILLARY....

hi.
LOL

2008-12-04T03:40:00.001-08:00

today was super boring
talked to little people
anyways

nth to write about leh
honestly
my life is just boring
hillary says must put meaning into my life
but my life sometimes no meaning- to me lah
i noe got meaning
but
i dunno
i miss alot of ppl

sighs
this is
dedicated to:
eunishy
its ok everything's going to be fine.
im praying
cheer up
smile
i'm here for eu :D

2008-11-28T20:06:00.000-08:00

yeps i agree with haris

we cant help you if you dont want to help yourself.
no matter how much we encourage you, cheer you up, advise you... etc
we cant make the decision for you
duh.
and you may think its totally impossible
but its not
you yourself know it
but you dont want to admit it.

i know how you're like when you get influenced by this
like all of us are hurt deh
and we also dont like to see you hurt too
but is like
we want to help.
but the decision lies in you

WAKE UP DUDE!!!!
seriously.

we miss der old you.

2008-11-28T03:59:00.001-08:00

thanks to mei yi and eunice
i left them out.
you guys rock
you are the best
thanks for being there for me. :D

2008-11-28T03:10:00.000-08:00

i feel LOVED
by God
i cried and cried and cried and cried and cried
well you get my point
last night.
i kept praying
coz toby smsed me
and he was like nothing is stopping you from going to God but yourself
and i kind of realised it lah
like der devil was trying to block me
alot lah
got alot alot of strongholds
and i had this SUPER HUGE FIGHT with hillary
like der most hugest (got such word? lol)
then we were screaming at each other
then she hanged up
then i talked to annabel
and she made me realise
its like
my insecurity lah
coz of somebody im super insecure now
and i put it on hillary ALOT
and i know it pisses her off ALOT
so i talked to her
and we sorted things out
and we kind of understand each other more
actually not more
wee understand each other ALOT more
duh i dont want to fight with her
when she's about to leave
she left alrdy btw
today
i miss her like crazy luh
i dunno if she needs me
but i need her alot
she's like my emotional stength or smth
without her i wud like die luh.
seriously.
very weird
i talking to mei yi
and she suddenly said
you wont die.
LOL!!!
ok anyways
ya bout hillary
ok lahh
she made this HUGE GIGANTIC POINT
she was like
im not her kays
i wont hurt you
you have to trust me
maybe i dont give hugs or i dont call you and stuff like that
but i've been around longer than she is
and i was like
SUPER TOUCHED
ya its not mushy
but got alot of meaning behind it

i dont think she'll be reading this
but tts not the point
i feel very happy when i think about this
really.
haizz
maybe you dont believe in best friends
but you're my best friend
and i know we're gonna hurt each other ALOT
but im trying
and i know your trying
and thats all that matters
and i usually say i love you for fun and stuff
but i really really love you
as like a sister
yup
you're my no. 1 friend :D lol

ok she makes me happy

my #2 happy reason
annabel!!!
she very very very nice loh
like alot of ppl might not think so
but like after hillary hang up i was super sad
and crying
and i called her
and she cheered me up
ALOT!!!
lol
and she ALSO GOING AWAY TODAY
ayaa why both of them going away
luh
i need them alot
haizz
nvm,
lol

okk
and i talked to haris too!!
my #3 reason lol
we both agrreee in the same thing
and we both wont give up luh
me annabel haris wont give up
lol
and sry sry sry i cudnt tok to eu today
i cudnt sms
loh
SIGHS
anyways
thankss!!!

#4 reason:
toby LOL
he very nice
cheer me up
yesterday
actually he cheer me up alot
i think
he is the only one who actually understands bout how i feel bout my grandfather
and actually can help.
yup
and he made me happy lah
alot.
yup like a brother to me.

#5 reason!!

GOD.
ayaa i should have put him no.1
nvm
he knows i put him no.1 in my heart
lol
i cry cry cry cry
then i speak in tongue
then during that time
i felt seriously alot of peace
and hope
and all that
like today i also felt alot of peace
i didnt talk to anybody besides my friends till 7 lah
and i felt peace.
lol
calmness
coz
yesterday i asked God to life up my burdens
and i found alot alot of amazing verses in the bible
ALOT

and i was like
forgive me God for staying away from you
and my #1 thought was
forgive her
forgive her
forgive her

maybe in my mind i thot i cudnt forgive her
but now i say i can forgive her
i can lah
coz
yup im not goingto let der devil set any bitterness in me
and God was like
saying
if you forgive her, i can start healing you.
so i was like
fine.
i forgive her.
so yup

the process of healing is also very painful
but when it heals slowly
it gets less painful.
i guess today wasnt painful

im still gonna cry today coz of my grandfather
but itd not going to be like last time
i cry coz i miss him
but i know im gonna meet him again.

my sis says God told her He's in heaven
that makes me happy.

i love you grandfather .

toby just told me a nice song.
a very nice song.
its very inspiring
VERY.
inspiring.

but first i wanna thank
hillary, annabel, toby, haris, sze ting, jamie, crystal bffl, crystal k,
if i missed anybody tell me
lol.

and everybody whose taken care of me
im healing
but i wouldnt be able to get to the point where i am
without you guys

The heart is stronger than you think
Like it can go through anything
And even when you think it cant it finds a way to still push on, though

Sometime you want to run away
Aint got the patience for the pain
And if you dont believe it look into your heart, the beat goes on

Im telling you
Things get better through whatever
If you fall, dust it off, dont let up
Dont you know you can go, be your own miracle, you need to know

If the mind keeps thinking youve had enough
But the heart keeps telling you dont give up
Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what, dont give up
Through it all, just stand up

Its like we all have better days
Problems getting all up in your face
Just because you go through it
Dont mean it gotta take control, no (no)

You aint gotta find no hiding place
Because the heart can beat the hate
Dont wanna let your mind keep playing you
And saying you cant go on

Im telling you,
Things get better through whatever
If you fall, dust if off, dont let up
Dont you know you can go, be your own miracle, you need to know

If the mind keeps thinking youve had enough (ohh)
But the heart keeps telling you dont give up (don't you give up)
Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what, dont give up (don't give up, just stand up)
Through it all, just stand up (just stand up)
Through it all, just stand up

You dont gotta be a prisoner in your mind
If you fall, dust it off, you can live your life (yeah)
Let your heart be your guide, oh (yeah yeah yeah)
You will know that youre good if you trust the in good
Everything will be alright, yeah (alright)
Light up the dark, if you follow your heart
And It will get better through whatever

If the mind keeps thinking youve had enough
But the heart keeps telling you dont give up (don't give up, don't give up, no no no)
Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what, dont give up
Through it all, just stand up

You got it in you, find it within (everything will be alright, yeah)
You got in ya, find it within ya
You got in you, find it within
You got in you, find it within ya
You got in you, find it within (everything will be alright, yeah)
You got in you, find it within ya
Find it within you, find it within
Through it all, just stand up

-i've got it in me

2008-11-25T03:29:00.001-08:00

you you you you you you you

YOU
ARE
NOT
THE
ONLY
PERSON
WHO
HAS
GOTTEN
HURT
BEFORE.

2008-11-25T03:25:00.000-08:00

i just saw all the posts last yr
i changed alot.
alot.
alot.
alot.
im not as happy as before.
wonder why.

2008-11-25T03:05:00.000-08:00

hi.
im sad.
coz im thinking of my grandfather again.
im vry sad now.
im always sad.
i feel freakin worthless again.
though maybe im not.
coz i got haris toby annabel ck chey rachel
but still
i feel very very very empty
empty
hollow
nothing inside
i dont let anybody inside these days
except for some
im not letting God inside
i dont know why.

im sad.
this song makes me cry :

2008-11-24T03:09:00.000-08:00

i hearing crystal's blog song
it's quite nice.
lol
though i got hear before.

ok
tmrw got dance pract.
then on weds and thurs still got.
zzz..

ok.
somebody very insensitive to my grandpa.
ayaa can give some respect or not?
whatever.

i think i am going to cry again tonight.
freaking stupid to cry
whatever
no use right
i cry when i hear mariah carey's song
its nice loh
but i dont really understand
whats wrong with saying goodbye?

i heard miley's song
its quite nice
though alot ppl dun like her
still
the song is very nice and touching.

haiz my phone no money
then cant talk so much
so i feel lonely.
very lonely.

hi. can somebody talk to me?

zzzz

2008-11-23T00:48:00.000-08:00

i cried last night coz i miss my grandpa.
i thot i was going to be ok after like 2 weeks
but im not okay.

MY HEART IS STILL FREAKIN EMPTY.

omgg i miss you like SIAO.

and and and

im TIRED of life.
coz people just come and go
and some people
who you TRUST SO MUCH
suddenly hurt you.
and obviously
YOU'LL BE AFFECTED
like you were super close to them
and you trusted them
and you listened to
EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF ADVICE they said
and you followed it
and you didnt care if it could be wrong
coz you TRUSTED that person

and now
you feel like a piece of crap.
coz that person decided to leave you out
to make you feel worthless
maybe not directly
but yeah.

SO now.
its hard to trust anybody
i only trust my super super super close friends.
but im still freakin insecure
coz like what if they suddenly leave me
like LAST TIME
but whatever

i trust them
but i trusted THAT PERSON
so i really dont know.
whatever
i still trust them

they mean the world to me.
seriously

so if they break my trust
i'll end up like this
and im still healing
but right now
the people whom im close to
im praying that they wont just leave me

yeah you're friends will hurt you
but im not talking about those petty fights
im talking about those
i-dont-need-you-coz-i-have-the-whole-wide-world-in-my-hands
kind of friends

YOU KNOW WHAT
I DONT NEED YOU TOO.

and and
I TRUSTED YOU
with my whole life.
i still cant believe this.
i still cant.

and i miss crystal
she didnt come to church
for who knows what
i wish she'd tell me but nvm
i understand
im not as sensitive as i was before

i miss you so crys
do you know today i had nobody to sit with
so i had to sit with jen
who was super nice to me
since she saw you all didnt come

OMG I NEED YOU. haiz
and btwim not mad at eu
just freakin missing you.
arghh

and
and
to you.
i just wanted a call.
for goodness sake.
JUST ONE CALL.
nvm
i understand
you dont need me
i need you
right?

2008-11-19T03:13:00.000-08:00

HI!!
back from dance camp.
I MISS MY FREAKING FRIENDS. LOL
esp LST AND HILLARY

my hp left 30 cents .. zzz
cannot sms anymore
ayaa make life boring
i called hillary twice today
second call talked crap lol

ANYWAYS I WAITING FOR LST TO GO ONLINE BUT SHE EAT SO SLOW.

dancecamp was fun
quite fun.
i missed my family and friends and phone though LOL

we didnt go dragonboating
instead go east coast
quite fun luh
played 8 rounds of detective o.O
and some game where we asked intrusive questions

oso saw toby and nic on the last day
said hi lol
and the bbq was the funnest loh
played cards till super fun
HAHAHA
and ate grapes lots of grapes
the fish vry vry spicy
but nice..

LOL
haris and toby made me like antm 11
but i lagging lah
here and there watch
marjorie got eliminated
lol
random

LST WHY U NT ONLINE
U FROG. lol

2008-11-15T03:38:00.001-08:00

hi
i changed my blogskin

I MISS GRANDMA
I MISS MY COUSINS
esp andrew
he iis sooooooo pretttyyyy. OMGG lol
and robin yeah him esp
and elis :D
and ci lisa
and ko kevin
and ci vanni
and ....

ok why am i listing all my cousins? anywayss

SIGHSS
feel super sad
dont know why

anywayss I MISS HILARY AND SZE TING
one of them nvr call me COUGH
and one of them nvr online lol

nvm luh

nth to do but watch greys anatomy

ALEX KAREV IS SO HOT
okays

sighs

you kicked me out of your life so dont expect me to receive you back.
you've hurt me
and a whole bunch of other people
and btw
your the one who threw me out
not me.

2008-11-14T03:16:00.000-08:00

THANK YOU SZE TING
lol

this will make me happy

i hope

1.What's the connection between you & the last person that called you?
my mom. lol

2. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
yep when sleeping and schooling

3. What happened yesterday night?
i cried when on the phone will hillary

4. When did you last cry?
today. afternoon.

5. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?
bread duh

6. What do you want in your life right now?
grandpa

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
i dont usually wear jackets with hoods. so the other option

8. What's your favorite thing to have on your bed?
honestly, my phone lol

9. What bottom are you wearing now?
im wearing a dress lol. my mom makes dresses for me

10. Whats the nicest text in your inbox say?
alot of nice texts. one of them is st telling me what she tagged. most of them are the dont be sad's and take care's lol

11. Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
sometimes

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
nope

13. What was the last movie you caught?
laksar pelangi with my cousins. ITS SO SUPER TOUCHING though i didnt understand half of it. lol its about these rural children in a broken down school who have a will to continue to study. OMGG if they can have that will to study WHAT ABOUT US..

14. What are you proud of?
alot of things.
im proud of my grandfather
the most.

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say?
Habi i dont know. I think im going to lose. Always Always Always Always Always Always Always Always Always Always Always Always Always Always
Always Always Always Always Always Always Always
Always Always Always Always Always Always Always

and its honestly like that. haha 28/10 AND you know who you are :D

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
erm i forgot
right here right now hsm3
its cheesy
but it made me cry LOL

17. Do you have any nicknames?
alot lah... dun wanna sae most of them mean lol

18. What does your last received text message say?
oh thanks alot. thanks for remembering :) -tin mei

19. What time did you go to bed last night?
9 smth

20. Are you currently happy?
im not sure. how do you define happy? ok im happy, temporary happiness

21. Who gives you best advice?
hillary though her advise can sometime BE SUPERBLY HARSH
n toby coz of my grandpaa

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
nvr. FATS

23. Who did you talk on phone last night?
hillary

24. Is anything bugging you right now?
DUHHH i miss him

25. What/Who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
i think it was hillary. lol

26. Do you wear toe socks?
what is that? lol

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
i forgot lehh.

28. Have you ever had your heart broken?
maybe

29. What annoys you most in a person?
people who think they own the whole world. people who are so self centred that they're blind to the people they've hurt. not TRYING to imply anybody.

30. Do you have a crush on anyone?
maybe

31. Have you ever done cocaine?
yeahh and i drink bird poop too :D

32. What is the colour of your room?
white. so boring

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar?
nopee i dun wanna go hell.

34. Do you believe in the saying "talk is cheap"?
i dont rly understand. talking without doing is cheap.

35. Who was the last person to lay in your bed?
erm me? me. yeah

36. Who was the last person to hug you?
my sis and grandmother. OMGG I MISSS YOU

37. What do you want to say to the person you have a crush on?
hi are you single? LOL haha jk

38. Do you have a life?
yeah why would i still be here then? EXPLAIN TO ME YOU CRAZY QUIZ MAKER

39. Have you ever thought someone died, when they really didn't?
YES YES YES YES YES YES YES. in my dreams i dreamt my grandmother died. and something horrible happened one month later. anyways my mom said it means the opposite. long live mak

40. What is the reason behind your profile song?
oh coz i used to like a smb. too lazy to change

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
erm i forgot.

42. Last time you smiled?
at 7. when smbb was toking to me

43. Have you changed this year?
yeah alott
and not entirely in a bad way

44. What are you listening to right now?

The Ting Tings - Shut Up and Let Me Go

catchy.
45. Are you talking to someone when you doing this?
crys and eunice :D

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
open duh i dun wanna die

47. Is there a quote you live by?
not rly.

48. Do you want someone you can't have?
maybe. maybe not.

49. Have you ever played an instrument?
yep

50. What was the worst idea you've had in the week?
ermm i dunno.

51. What were you doing last night at 11.00pm?
sleeping

52. Are you happy with your love life right now?
yeah single and carefree :D actually cancel the ca

53. What song describe your love life?
dunno lol
and st, "HAHAHAHA." is not a song.
i think.
lol

54. Does the person know that you like him/her?
nah he thinks im the last person in the world to like him

55. Who always makes you laugh?
friends :D esp a few

56. Do you speak other language other than English?
chinese. BAHASAA woo i luv indo

57. Are you blond?
yeah yeah im dumb

58. Whats your middle name?
elisabeth.. -.-

59. What are you doing tomorrow?
going school buy bks, tuition maybe going swiming

60. What do you think you are like?
a person

61. Who will you choose to die with?
nobody.

62. Where have you been today?
home. vivo

63. What game do you play often?
ermm audi?

64. Who are you missing right now?
grandfather.

65. If you've to choose between friend & love, who will you choose?
friends

66. What are you doing right now?
doing this quiz and chatting

67. Which primary school are you from?
alot luh.. east coast, damai and chij kellock. I KNOWWW

68. Name 3 colours that you like:
yellow ocean blue purple :D

69. What emotion you like to show?
sighs lol

70. What is life to you?
a mess- right now

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
tell my friends. i always tell my friends. or sometimes just pray

72. Who did you last chat in msn today?
jen eunice cry,ko kevin

73. Who do you admire the most?
God. grandfathrr

74. Which month are you born in?
oct. OKTO LOL

75. How are you feeling right now?
melachonic bittersweet

76. What is the time now?
7.37 pm

77. Where are you now?
living rm?

78. What colour did you use to dye hair?
i nvr did

79. Why are you doing this test?
to cheer me up

80. What do you do when you're moody?
cry

81. At which age you wish to get marry?
when doesnt matter. who matters :D LOL
82. Who is most important to you?
God family friends

83. Do you think you have enough confidence?
not really, still struggling

84. Who is the person you trust the most?
God.

85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
yeah i saw it before

86. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
my grandfather here with me

87. What is your goal for this year?
get over this mess and start a new/

88. Do you believe in eternity love?
with God. yes

89. What do you love?
God, family friends

90. Do you really think its Global Warming now?
nonono its ozone depletion

91. What feeling you hate the most?
grief.

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
yeah duh.

93. Do you believe in God?
i love Him

94. Who cares for you the most?
God.

95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
dealing with this mess

96. Do you hate this quiz?
maybe

97. What have you regretted doing in your whole life?
not cherising pops

98. What would you feel if no one no longer cares for you?
i felt that this afternoon

99. What if your stead two-timed you?
dump him duh

100. Who would u sabo next?
erm dunno llah

i love sze ting
lol
random

2008-11-13T03:16:00.000-08:00

oh my gawshh
im going to have a mental breakdown again
it's like i've run out of subjects to think about

i've tried watching tv and reading and stuff but my mind keeps going back to my grandad
poor grandma
she broke down twice in 2 days
cheer up grandma i love you. it's ok to break down. just cry it'll make you feel better.
i miss her like siao lah
she 5 times tell me "nancy aku susaa banget"
which means like she feels super super how to say
STRESSED OUTT
worse than streessed outt

gawshhh

everything's in pieces
and when you say everything is ok
well it isnt
and i dont think it'll ever be for a long time.

I JUST WANT EVERYTHING TO END. GAWSH

2008-11-10T22:42:00.000-08:00

hi!
in indo now
andrew and elis beside me
lols my cousins
i was about to say ANDREW IS...
but he angry liao
so FINE.

nwayss i miss my SISTER
jiee i luv u
i miss my friends
esp my 8jm :D
i luv them
plus hillary, Anna, eunice yeahh
a few moree

anyways if you have time pray for me kays
and my familyy
coz
yeahh

i liike anna's blog song
its nice
LOL
nyways

BIG THANKS
to LOW SZE TING, CRYSTAL KONG,TOBY, AND JENNYFER

i wanted to type this in the airport
but my mom was calling
lol yeahh

you guys cheered me up like SIAO luh
w/o you guys i'd be like drowing in sadness
lol not that i am now
but whatever

thank you CK for CALLING ME AT 12 AM when you were about to SLEEP (gawsh) to comfort me
you were the first one to like comfort me
and the shout out on your blog
lols yeahh
ily jie

thank you TOBY for smsing me till 2? or 1? i thought nobody understood but you did. so yeah. thanks. seriously.. you made me feel better! :D

thank you SZE TING for being there for me in the morning
yeahh and till now too
you make me happy
lols
cheesy sia
ok whateverr
w/o you i would like lose complete hope in smilling
lols ily.. HAHA

thank you JEN for being there for me too in the morning yepss
you made me feel better :D

thank you to these 3 ppl AND

cheyenne ( you too comforted me RLY and ur tag made me feel better ),
hillary, eunice, anna, rachel, vania and ci biena
for thee take care-ness :D

ily guys :D

i love you

2008-11-06T16:09:00.000-08:00

this post is dedicated to my beloved granpa
rest in peace grandpa
6.11.08

dear granpa,

i still remember the memories we shared
the times when you visited us
and you taught me how to swim
and you challenged me to swim one lap in ONE breath
and i tried my best and failed *duh*
but you laughed it off and encouraged me

and the times when i visited you and grandma
the early boring afternoons
where all the cousins went off to school
and all my aunties and uncles went off to work
and you were at home
and you pei-ed me
you watched your boooring tv shows
and i begged and begged youto change the channel
and you let me
when it was the commercials
and you changed it back to your own show
those fighting-over-the-tv days i will never forget

and when i played my computer games at your house
and you let me play
without complaining
and once you used the computer when i went away for a while during playing
and i panicked!
and i thought you deleted my game
but it was still there.
of course you wouldnt delete it
of course you wouldnt.

and when you touched me with those sms-es
you sent me
those that had those awesome touching bible verses
it made my day
when im down
i look through those sms-es thst i keep to my heart
and i will never ever forget them
those words mean so much more
because they came for you

i never thought much about you in my daily life.
i kind of just forgot about you
since we only meet once or twice a year
but now your gone
and i want you back so badly
but you can never ever come back

it makes me think
why didnt i reply your smses?
coz i was too busy with my life
and sometimes the stupid connection didnt work
and and

gosh...
how can i forget you?
your such a awesome awesome grandfather and
and and
it hurts knowing your not here anymore
it hurts so bad
gosh...

i would trade anything and everything in this world
to have you return
but i cant right

but i know your in a better place right now
i know your happy and
your pain's gone

but that doesnt man my pain has healed.

i love you.
and nothing in this world will ever make me forget you.

____________________________________________________________________

today has been the longest day of my life
and it's not even half over
gosh..
i didnt know how losing your loved one and grief and all that felt like
super detached with this whole dying thing
then i just got the most shocking dose of reality

do you know how it feels when your loved one has been pulled away from you and your holding on to dear life and you cant let go

but you HAVE to

and that sucks
that's not fair
but life's not fair
so yeah.
i gotta deal with it
i have to be strong
but its so hard to be strong
i want to be strong for my mom
and my dad and my sis
and my aunts and uncles and cousins and everybody
but how can i?

thinking of you makes me cry for goodness sake
im trying not to cry right now.
goshhhhh

why did God take you right now?
why didnt he give me more time to get to know you?
why?

but i guess i dont have as much understanding as God
so who am i to question His decision.

goshh
i just want to die and be with you
apart of me wants to be with you
apart of me wants to be with my family

they'll always be parts of me.
always

____________________________________________________________________

at airport now
sighs
flight at 10am
maybe returning to singapore next thurs

erm yeah my mom hurrying me now
oh nooo
ayaa
ok
byes
take care everybody!

:D

2008-11-02T03:47:00.000-08:00

hello (:
today was a nice day
cheyenne went to my church
had a fun time
i think?
and we talked about SOMEBODY
cough cough

anyways
i think jennifer is freaked out by me
but she's nice
coz she hugged me back :D

and jennyfer is nice too
the other jennyfer
she's a very nice friend
and a good bassist :D

lol
ansd i love vania
and i miss crystal and rachel
well i miss rachel more since i cant see her anymore
but i miss crystal too

i wish they had came

had fun with choir practice
MICHAEL AND INCA
wooo
i think both of them very compatible
i asked inca to invite me to their wedding
they singing duet together
so romantic right...

but its supposedly for God
cough cough

i miss my friends
and hillary is a toot
lol
her bro swim no water splashing
then she swim..
wah sehh like a whale
lol
no offence hillary
i still love you

swimming with hillary and her bro was fun
and her uncle's nice
help me fix my goggles
in the end my goggles broke
oh well

i have water in my ears
this sucks
oh well.

:D

the bbq was nice
:D
super outdated
but
the catching was freaky
like some murder movie
since cheyenne went down
i went up
and it was like super long road
and max and thaddeaus were behind me
then i turned
and went into this super thin alley
which was super dim
and it was super super scary
freaks
they didnt catch me
till i slowed down
since i thought ilost them.
then look behind those freaks were still there
oh well
it was a fun day

and thanks alot cheyenne for pushing me into the pool :D

2008-10-30T04:37:00.000-07:00

rachel's husband :D

me and chey :D

___________________________________________________________________

Me euniceshy annabel at cinema

yafan again :D

playground at vivo

yafan and me at the playgroj

nice scenery

yafan looks hot *as usual*

super nice scenery

me and naomi. super blur coz my camera got prob
___________________________________________________________________

monday?

i <3>

my sis is hot :D

_____________________________________

haris acting crazyyy

jamie!! :D

cheyenne and jamie

ck :D i luv ur detergent

kevin acting gay

kevin acting gay again

_____________________________________________

shall describe tmrw. I TOOK 56 MINUTES TO DO THIS. STUPID BLUETOOTH DEVICE STUPID THUMBDRIVE. lol
enjoy thepics
though some of them are outdated
:D

2008-10-28T04:51:00.001-07:00

had super fun today
:D
watched hsm3
gonna post tmrw coz I CANT FIND THAT STUPID THUMBDRIVE
yups
_____________

had a nice talk with somebody today
it made me realise
that
how many problems you have
you just gotta deal with it face on
dont run away from it
it's gonna come back and haunt you
God gives us problems for a reason
but instead of magnifying the problem magnify God
coz He is powerful
maybe when we are down and out
and we have no idea how to clear the mess
maybe God's just right there
waiting for you to turn to Him

and there are people DYING from hunger, starvation, thirst right now
and they can still smile
and we face out petty problems
our friendship problems
our fatness
our boring-ness
when those people are stick thin and maybe no fun but they can still smile

it takes courage to smile and hide your feelings yes
but it takes more courage to actually smile and deal with them

i have so many problems these days
i;ve been like drowning in my self pity
when God;s just right there waiting
that's what rocks about God
everything rocks about God
yep esp when
God is always there for you
:D

i shouldnt see the people who have hurt me, who have insulted me
i should see the people who have made me smile and who have brought joy in my life
these are the people who are worth thinking about

you know, after saying all these things, i appreciate life so much more now
whatever it takes, im going to turn my life around
and put a smile on my face
coz life is awesome
and it's a waste of time to dwell on sadness
when you can be so much happier in a second

i love you God

2008-10-27T04:43:00.001-07:00

1. do you have secrets?
yeah everybody does. if not they wouldn't be normal.
2. would you fall in love with a boy younger than you?
not really. i have fallen in love with a boy OLDER than me. wait almost everybody has
3. do you enjoy going to school?
yes and no.
4. what would you do with a billion dollars?
i dont know. i dont have a billion dollars RIGHT... so why are you giving me that question. HUH HUH HUH okays lol
5. will you fall in love with your best friend?
nah they;re girls. they're da best but i wudnt fall in love with her
6. which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved?
both. loving smb makes you have something to look forward to. being love makes you feel high. actually both make you feel high.
7. list out your current top 30 favourite songs
ehhhhh i dont feel like it
but this song is nice:

Hillsong - This is Our God

8. if the person you like is secretly attached, what would you do?

pray pray pray pray. then hope hope hope hope. then give up. i've gone through it. it's not a fun thing to go through lol

9. is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
yes. being with God. i love God. being with family and friends too

10. do you have any regrets?
no. life is too short for regrets. THOUGH i wish i hadnt eaten that icecream

11. how would you yourself in 10 years time?

contented with life. whateveer the circumstances

12. who is currently the most important people to you?
God. family, friends

13. what kind of person do you think tagged you is?
[xinyi]she super nice and ily xinyi. ur awesome

14. would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
single and rich.

15. what are your favourite colours?
yellow. :D

16. would you give all in a relationship?
no. not worth it. relationships come and go the only people who can love you most is ur family and God and ur rly true friends yups. i dont sound lame its da truth lol

17. if you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
the one that cares for me

18. would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
yup. it's what God wants from me but it;s harder saying it than doing it

19. do you prefer being single or having a relationship?
single. less heartbreak

20. tagg
ayy people who i have tagged, you should know :D

2008-10-26T04:55:00.000-07:00

i feel sad againn
thinking about rachel and HER
thinking about them alot
ci biena's helping me alot
she's praying
she's super nice
ily ci
okayss

_________________
i miss you like siaoo
today vania PLUS crys PLUS jennifer nvr come
i super lonely
im so used to have you aroundd
i just miss you
:(
______________________________________________________________________
tag replies!
haris- why you hate the song it's nice lols :D
szeting- hi froggie lovess :D
ck- hi jie lovess :D
chey- hi chey lovess :D lol

I MISS YOU :(

2008-10-24T05:02:00.001-07:00

i dont feel like updating
feel very boredd
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i feel quite happy and sad
bittersweet again.
happy coz
ITS DA WEEKENDS
hahaha
the disney song keep playing in my head
very lame
anywayss
today got dance
SUPER TIRINGGG
but quite ok lah
me chey and ck plus emilia annabella melissa carissa sheree :D :D were the only sec 1-s
(sry if i miss any LOLS)
whateverrs
lol
then cheyenne sit out coz she got sudden blackout lols
sounds scary but its not. really
HAHA
andd
I LOVEE THEMM
lol
random
NWAYSS
i gonna post yesterday's pic tmr
coz
lazy
lol
this is a dedication to xiu wei coz she's waiting for it

xiu weiii darling
thanks for being my FRENN
and sitting w. me during maths
and puuting up with my nonsense
and irritating ways
lols
u are a speciaall person in my heart
will nvr forget you
LOVESS! :D :D

okays and this is the sad part

I MISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS RACHEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
i will miss her more this sunday when she doesnt come
rachell pls come
she's gone alrdy
now replaced with ci biena
who is SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER NICE
seriously
she is the best cell group leader in daaa trc
yaa so u must rejoin
plspslpsls

i miss u like siao
luhhh
i miss everything about youu
can you comee back
pls pls pls

sighsss ily

and
i miss rachel huang shi yun

randomness
lols

SADNESS IS A FORM OF REALITY.....
yeah rightt

sighs

2008-10-19T04:54:00.000-07:00

omg omg omg omg

omg rachellll

why did you have to do this
ive known you for 6 LONG YEARS
and you just left like that?
omgg im not blaming you luh
but i'll miss you like siao
and whatever you said on that email you are NOT
i will never call you that
and even though we'll never meet each other again
i'll love you forever

omgg i wanna cry alrdy... IM SERIOUSLY SRY for reading tt email super longg
coz my email is lyk dead whatever
i dont check emails
so its my fault
i wanted to say bye to you
cant i sae bye?
now we'll never see each other agaiin

omgg
but i not blaming youuu
i sae tt alrdy
coz i totally know how u feel

:(

*btw this is for rachel my church fren so like dun get wrong ideas kay?

2008-10-17T04:07:00.000-07:00

sadness- A feeling or spell of dismally low spirits

hariss gan ge
dun be sad kay?
CHERR UP CHEER UP CHEER UP CHEER UP
CHERR UP CHEER UP CHEER UP CHEER UP
CHERR UP CHEER UP CHEER UP CHEER UP!!!

:D I hate to see you sadd
dun care about those jerks kay?
they are not worth the sadness
and im sure he'll understand and he'll realise your sincerity
so DONT WORRY!
JUST SMILE!
when your happy im happy

kevinnn
CHEER UP!
dont be sad
dont give up
just brush it off and move on
your a great friend and lyk a brother to me
SMILE KAYs!

2008-10-16T04:27:00.000-07:00

hiii

yesterday was a sad day :(
so many people cryingg loh
then i oso wanted to cry too when i saw my friends crying
haiz
all my friends who are sad dun be sad kay?
to eunice, ya fan, fenny, crystal, anna, rachel, yappy, nic, and all those who are superr sad
CHEER UP
i will make you smile by letting you hear this song! LOL

2008-10-14T04:11:00.000-07:00

ayyy crystal you made me fall in love with mighty to save again
this version rocks man

Migthy To Save - Hillsong Live

i almost cried after hearing this.

dear God,
i commit all my problems into Your hands.
i know its not of my control
but Your's
You have the power to do everything
i trust in You

2008-10-13T04:12:00.000-07:00

lol today was super funn
oral was okay luh.. i dunno the stupid chinese then the teacher was lyk
do u even noe what i toking about (in chinese)
then i was .. hehehe no
lol
ten she was lyk i meant project work
and i was like
oooooooooooohhh

anyways to the fun part
me, chey, cass, euniceshy, tinmei, naomi, yafan, amanda, crys toh and anna
yeahhh funness
then we all reach there SUPER HUNGYY
then the restaraunt open at 12
zzzz
then poor naomi super hungry
we all quickly ordered
the food quite nice deh and quite cheap
then chey keep stealing crys toh chips
lol
ok then take neoprint
5 of them dun wanna take coz they say too manyppl
ayaa
then the STUPID CHEAPSKATE MACHINE
i dun wanna tok about it
its too upsetting
lol
MY 2 DOLLLARSS
anyways

yup today was super fun

its not tt i dun wanna try
but after i read ur blog post
it made me think
even if i try my very very hardest
it;ll be no use right?
coz you've alrdy announced defeat

bday pics

2008-10-11T04:34:00.000-07:00

ICE KACHANGG
before! well not actually before lol mediumand after :D

JAMIE being craZY

eh yes do i rly have to explain?

OMG JAMIE IS SO HOT

eating ice kacang

rachel eating iice kacang

sze tinglooking dreamily at ice kacang

both having a nice tym with icekacang and that guy keep starring at them ewww

NICOLO !

oh my gawsh eunice....
you are super duper lucky sia
and i will not be jealous LOL

2008-10-10T06:26:00.001-07:00

IM GOING TO EDIT THIS TOMORROW coz i gtg sleep lol
THANK YOU EVERYBODY WHO MADE ME SMILE TODAYYY LOVES!

2008-09-25T04:37:00.000-07:00

nothing is impossible for Him

EVERYBODY has problems these days
i just want to hug them and tell them everything is okay.
but everything isnt okay
but it will be
faith is hoping for things that are unseen
we just have to keep holding on
each and every single day
just keep on ...
life is like so emotionally draining
but God gives me the strength to live life with couragee :D

i would like to say thank you to these amazingly awesome friends of mine who are so unbelievably kind and caring

rachel (:
crystal k (:
jamie (:
nicole (:
cheyenne (:
haris (:
toby (:
kevin (:
annabel (:

yep! you guys are so awesome.

today was just..
bittersweet?
i keep thinking about it
i keep repeating the words in my head
it hurts like crazy
i keep telling myself it doesnt mean anything to me
does it?
whenever i think about what he said
it makes me wonder if the people around me think that way about me
arghh
God is my strength
God is all i need
i cannot let him affect me
i will not.
whatever he said is untrue

you know man, go on, say im a bitch, go on say i attract attention. look around you man. how many friends do you have? im not saying i have many friends but you know what before you start insulting others who NEVER DID A FREAKING THING TO YOU, then you better think twice.
oh u can call other people a BITCH, you can talk bad about them, but it'll only make you look bad. sian you think talking bad about people make you look like a NICE PERSON?
oh comeon man... stop dreaming. we never do anything to you and you dont like us.
who has the problem here?
stop looking around
go find a mirror.
you know what, go on , be a jerk for all i care
you wanna put others down to gain strength, pride whatevr
then your just a sick maniac
you derive joy from other's hurt
you are so so so..
whatever
im done with you
everybody is done with you
go insult me to toby and hillary
but open your eyes man
you trying to hurt us?
u trying to pull us down?
maybe you can succeed on others
but not to me
you know what
God is with me
and you better think twice before insulting His daughter
i dont need to talk bad about you
i dont have to.
God is my avenger
and you'll finally realise what the consequences are of what you're doing now

2008-09-21T04:49:00.000-07:00

happy birthday sis!
i love you always

2008-09-19T04:14:00.000-07:00

is saying sorry a sign of weakness?

2008-09-14T04:20:00.000-07:00

crystal heng...
i'll always be there for you
you are my MANGO DAHLINGGGG
ok that sounds weird

i love you you love me we are happy fammilyyy

2008-09-14T01:31:00.001-07:00

from now on
i love
CRYSTAL VANIA CANDY RACHEL and JESSICA
super duper nice friends in church

-today was a nice day
mee and vania became ushers
then very fun
then james say she cut her hair
and she looks super mature now since she changed her fringe
and she is so PWEEETYY
and i was like
hey vania you hve a boyfren
and vania was like
noooooooooooo
and i was like
i thot you liked michael?
and she was like
are you crazy? i will never like him

and we said we would jump
but we didnt :(
and then
i feel guilty
coz i didnt listen to today;s sermon
like so many distractions luh..
yeah but its obviously my fault
must try harder next time

and crystal was super sad coz of that person
she must be super sad
actually she is super sad
and.. and
CHEER UP

and i love my 老大
(:

2008-09-12T21:07:00.000-07:00

like why is everybody sad these days?

went to play with mark poop and hillary. ayyaa mark's brothers very annoying keep making fun of me. haha so what if i cant play vb. haahaa then go hill house drink milk and i dropped my lollipop onto her bed and she was screamingg at me and it was super funny and her mom and granparents came and i super paiseh coz her grandmother is.... lol anyways and i forgot to take my RICOLA... :(

CHEER UP CHEER UP CHEER UP CHEER UP
ok. do you get my point CRYSTAL HENG
CHEER UPPPP
do you noe smth?
that something is ILY ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT
if you are sad, then i am super depressed
do you know how much i love you?
you dont need a boy to be by your side
coz you know whose at your side..
let you guesss...
MEEE!! *duh*
cheer up
ILY

CHEYENNE!
dun care about ppl lyk him
SMILEEE
you are my mei
so i hate seeing my sister be sad
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
no matter what he says
[eh sounds like a song LOL]
and do you know smth
that something is
ILY

HARIS!
dun be sad kays? cheer up..
smilee
be like your oldself
:D
dun be sad anymoreee

HILLARY!
dont be sad
just forgive n forget
just dont think about it
and let go
dont let it affect you kays?
ILY

TOBY!
just dont care him.
i dont care him
he call me that so what
thats his problem
pride before fall anyways
he isnt worth the sadness

2008-09-10T04:55:00.000-07:00

i met tin mei at anchorage :D

today got back report book.. i like TUI BU!!! ahhh
o.7 MARKS TILL A2
0.2 marks till A1!!!
ahhhhh
so frustrating

oh well.

today english fun
me and rachel were nonsensical
which was fun
funfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfun

HAPPY BELATED BDAY YAPPY!! ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D

crappy day...
AHHH
i becoming more like ..
SZE TING
am i/
am i not
i dont know
and sze ting is
like
disgusting
go use pen and "cut" herself
LOL

I <3 XIU WEI AND SAY YIAN AND EUNICE
coz they're my gan jies and mei :D

2008-09-07T04:21:00.000-07:00

today in church was like amazing siaa
like the first time i've been touched by God for like in how manymonths
any bitterness in my heart for her is gone
anyways i now understand God put her in my life to destroy my self esteem
so that He can build it up Himself
and like nobody can pull me down
coz' in God's eyes i am perfect

rachie and xin yi went to my house today!
i realise xin yi is a very nice girl
and i made a friend :D
and she chatted with my cousin
while rachel COPIED my maths hw
cough cough
and she left her chawan mushi cd's
LOL

____

do i really belong?
church- it's often described as a big big family
but is it really?
your suppose to bond with people there right?
why do i feel like i dont belong at all?
arghh
rachel said God put me there for a reason
some times when i see those pictures of them having so much fun
and i miss it
and like do i really fit in?
sian...
i wish church wouldnt have all these cliques
so what if your a flaggist or a musician or a singer or your not anything
so what?
what's important is that your coming for God's glory right?
not to show off your nice clothes whatever

and early mornings karina they all keep talking about o levels
everybody seems to understand everybody
oh how i wish i could just fit in there
like some puzzle piece whatever
i just wish i belong
like i do in school
where im friends with everybody i know
and that i feel accepted

is this God's will?
i cant judge what He has in plan
and i dont have a clue
i;ll just keep being nice and trying to fit in
but why is it so hard?

2008-09-02T04:45:00.001-07:00

i have like 10 DOLLARS for 19 DAYS arghh
cannot sms so much liao
anyways its a good thing that rachel's left then i dunneed to waste so much
but the bad thing is
i miss her
sobs
nobody to talk to much these days
DOWN WITH THE FLU!
i hate flu !!

i went to taka with my mom
then i went kinokuya [however u spell it]
and i read this book
called
"little liars"
or whatever
quite nice deh
but also quite scary LOL
[it's not about horror though]

then go food court eat
the jap food there not so nice ..
i think rachel passed me her Japanese addiction
well at least the food addiction :D
but the last two times i ate Jap food not nicee
all in food court
bleah
cheapskate food
LOL but must thank God
at least im not eating from rubbish bin
ewww

i miss my friends.

YAPPY BDAY COMING SOON!!! I WILL AND SHALL NOT FORGET

ok randomness...

thanks my jie and mei for praying for me to get well!
and i hope my gan ge gets well :D

TAG MEEE
lovesss <3

randomness

2008-09-01T04:13:00.000-07:00

oh my gawsh so many quizzes

You Are 28% Emo

You're definitely not emo, but you do understand emo people a little. You are introspective, but not to the point of driving yourself crazy.

Are You Emo?

Your Power Color Is Gold

At Your Highest:

You are engrossed in passions that mentally stimulate you.

At Your Lowest:

You seek thrills and neglect what's important in your life.

In Love:

You see dating as adventure and approach it with an open attitude.

How You're Attractive:

Your passion for life makes others passionate about you.

Your Eternal Question:

"Am I Having Fun?"

What's Your Power Color?

You Are a Positive Person

No one would accuse you of being too negative!

You're a naturally upbeat and optimistic person.

Like everyone else, you come across things you can't stand every day.

But unlike everyone else, you ignore what annoys you and focus on what uplifts you.

Are You Too Negative?

Your Thinking is Abstract and Random

You are flexible, adaptable, and creative.

There's many ways that you can learn - and you're up for any of them.

You relate well to other people, and you do well working in groups.

You can help people communicate together and work with each other's strengths.

You don't work well with people who are competitive or adversarial.

You prefer to work toward a common goal... not toward conflicting goals.

What Kind of Thinker Are You?

-OMG RANDOM! :D

Your Power Element is Fire

Your power color: red

Your energy: hot

Your season: spring

Like a fire, you are full of power and light.

A born leader, you easily draw people toward you.

You are full of courage and usually up for anything dangerous.

You have a huge ego and love to be the center of attention.

What's Your Power Element?

2008-08-31T01:15:00.000-07:00

ci vanya's leaving.

and how am i suppose to react?
then they wanted to replace her with ci biena
like i dont even know who she is lah
then they want her to be FA leader
if she becomes one..
i'll not go FA
coz i had this bad impression of her
like 3 years ago i was sitting behind her
and she didnt even acknowledge me
but it was dumb for me to think that she would anyways
i was like invisible

haizz
i dont know what to think these days

must stay positive
this is God's plan for me
(creidts to rachel ^^ )

whatever lohh...

tributee to church people
thanks jennifer for lending me ur phone (:
thanks vania for being so sweet and pweety and nicee
thanks rachel for being my longest friend EVER, and being so SERIOUS (and naggy! Good luck for PSLE dar)
thanks candy for lending me your stilettos and being so awesome
thanks jessica for being a nice friend
thanks jennyfer for being there for me and standing my crazy-ness and hyperness (dont be tired kays?
thanks beatrice for being an awesome cell group leader and teaching me loads of stuff (you too jennifer!)
thanks steffi for being sweet and not forgetting my bday!
thanks james for being nutty and talking crap to karina (lol)
thanks ko hendro for teaching me stuff ( i miss your presence in TRC :( )
thanks michael for teaching me stuff
thanks hendy and ko willy for forgiving me wheni messed up TWICE :D
thanks inca for being uber funny
thanks cintia for being uber funny too
thanks crystal for everything and for being my bffl even if we hardly talk these days

i love all my church friends!

( even though you pulled me down, im getting back up. what you did- its a blessing in disguise)

2008-08-30T04:07:00.001-07:00

oh my gawsh
i am seriously sad luh
i just realised i like missed 5 people yesterday
SOBS
i still miss kellock

anyways today tuition so FUNNISH
me and yi peng like helped each other finish the papers then in the end we got the same mark though we didnt copy each other, just helped each other out with the questions we didnt know
then the mr goh go say we copy each other
=.=
then they start drawing on my hands again
sheryl drew some peace sign
yi peng drew a lame smiley face
i used the water from my bottle to erase it
then i asked for tissue from a nice little girl
i still forgot her name
gawsh
then ehem ehem slack sia
keep on smsing
then teacher scold her kinda
then i said smth
oh yeah i called her retarded (jk only)
then the teacher heard leh
sheryl slap me so hard till my arm red
then the teacher say
"she's a nice girl, im sure she didnt mean it"
LOL

im sitting beside two loonies in tuition
i think i passed my crazy-ness to yi peng
she;s becoming hyper-er per tuition loh

AND THE TIONG STAIRS ARE SCARY
smelllike cigarette smoke
EWWW
i scared got murderer lurking around lol
then yi peng go say i stupid scared over that

I LOVE MY HANDDRYER in THE TUITION'S TOILET :D
so refreshing
LOL

I MISS KELLOCK!!

2008-08-29T04:09:00.000-07:00

i miss my primary school :(
i miss mrs ong
i miss xindi
i miss velvet
i miss eunice, inez, mun shuen, charmaine, venetta, like all my classmates

i didnt get to see sonia or eunice (she couldnt come)
and i like couldnt really talk to vel or charmaine coz i was rushing to vivo since my mom wanted to eat with me
mrss ongg had funny hair LOL
and so sad i have no pictures
but i miss her like siao luh
she was a really great teacher

and i ate CAKE! and i met all my last year p 5 friends. they all keep referring me to prefect lol
and i forgot most of their names
so ps..
and there was this girl who i met in the bus
and she was super shy last year
and today she just came up to me and talked to me
and i couldnt remember her till she told me

i miss kellock

(im in utter shock right now. i just realised mike guglielmucci, the singer of the healer song is fake.. omg i just feel so super duper SAD luh i believed in him leh walao then he lied. whateverr but the song is still awesome ): )

2008-08-28T04:10:00.000-07:00

happy birthday rachel huang shi yun
(:

happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you!

dont be sad kays?
you must cheer up and smile
coz you have GOD!
and me and all your friends :D
__________________________________

today is miss baboon's birthday
something sad happened in the morning
then miss baboon very sad
:(
then the guys were rly sweet
go make straw hearts for her
SO SWEEEEEET
lol

then i missed TING XIE
which kind of sucks
because i actually STUDIED for it
but anyways so what
LOL

then we all sing happy birthday song to miss baboon
isnt that so sweeet
kong kong go print out the barbie picture and lyrics
haha then scare racheeellllll

tomorrow TEACHER'S DAY
gonna meet mrs ong and all my ex classmates
with vanessa sim
LOL

loveeeessss

2008-08-26T04:56:00.001-07:00

i dont know you anymore

thanks for the memories
even if they're not so great

debating with myself lol

2008-08-18T04:09:00.000-07:00

why is it
when people blog on their blogs
when they;re angry or excited they'll write in caps and change the font size to be seriously big
but when they want to do a shout out to GOD they italic, "stike out" it, make the font size seriously small.
i mean if your going to shout out to GOD might as well do it at least normal font
if ur going to do it seriously small, and ma fan other ppl to copy and paste here and there
then what's the point?
might as well pray to GOD yourself in your room

why?
are you ashamed?
are you scared what your friends think?
why do you care if your friends think your super lame for posting a prayer
or a testimony to God?
and you find it okay to post in seriously big font when your superbly happy about something?

im not referring to anybody, but i saw two of my friend's blog, thy both did it and it got me thinking

are you ashamed of God?

then those emails
speaking about the love of God
and telling you to forward these things
they give you that bible verse
saying if you do not acknowlege me infront of God.. blablabla
it made a point
it made me want to send it
but then you scroll down
then you see some good luck charm again
lyk
"send this to 7 people and you will get something good the next day"
so isnt it such a contradiction
whoever wrote that email
you want the reader to send it out of love for God
and you add that stupid sentence
that changes the whole purpose
its lyk being, im only doing this coz i'll get a blessing and not for God
not saying everybody thinks that
but it just destroys the purpose of the email

why am i debating about this?
lol
but it really made a point to me

___________________________________
over the past few days i havent been talking to God
and im super guilty and sad about it
there was like some stronghold that the devil set up
i couldnt talk to God and didnt feel his prescense
i seriously want to feel Him again

God im sorry for forsaking you.
____________________________________

today during dance , the teacher actually praised me
oh my gawsh
made me want to do better
my dance still sucks
haha but i'm try my best

2008-08-17T01:47:00.000-07:00

RACHELHUANGSHIYUN went to church with me today.

LOL
super weird convo:
are you jennyfer or inca? o.0

n a ncy// && peace says:
are u in a good mood
Lðbbie. ESTEBAN ! says:
not really but ok but not but good but yeah those kind you know i know you dont know yeah you kow
Lðbbie. ESTEBAN ! says:
know*
n a ncy// && peace says:
oh wow so simple
Lðbbie. ESTEBAN ! says:
hahaha yeah
n a ncy// && peace says:
are you jennyfer?
Lðbbie. ESTEBAN ! says:
yes
Lðbbie. ESTEBAN ! says:
no
Lðbbie. ESTEBAN ! says:
i meanno
n a ncy// && peace says:
ok
n a ncy// && peace says:
so who are you
Lðbbie. ESTEBAN ! says:
inca jangan2
Lðbbie. ESTEBAN ! says:
sapi
n a ncy// && peace says:
are you mad
Lðbbie. ESTEBAN ! says:
no?
n a ncy// && peace says:
crazy?
Lðbbie. ESTEBAN ! says:
yeah[]=[]
n a ncy// && peace says:
glad you know ^^

2008-08-16T04:04:00.000-07:00

heelloo
omg i just found out how BIG my font was for the previous post
didnt mean it to be THAT big
people thought i was yelling lol

today was a fun day.
went grocery shopping with mdm pauline
then SOMEBODY decided to last minute cancel to 3 pm
*cough cough*

after chionging to do the stupid newspaper article
then i rushed to tuition
in the end had to wait for 20 MINUTES on level 6
the classroom wasnt opened
then somemore level 6 is so bare
nothing there
waited with sheryl

then today yi peng lyk ate sugar or something
so hyper
then she copied my line
WHATS YOUR PROBLEM? RETARDED AH? LOL
then oh my goodness
sheryl didn't have a cat fight with jackie
for the first time
ahahaha

then afterward SOMEBODY was super late
so i walked around with Sheryl after tuition
for lyk 15 mins
and she wanted to go home
so i did too

then i went up and down from my house
coz SOMEBODY was super late luh
hayoooo..

then met SOMEBODY at 711
keep insulting me sia
i dun care luh really
LOL
u insult oso insult until so funny
hahaha
then SOMEBODY treat me sweet talk then
SOMEBODY decided to waste SOMEBODY'S money
by buying cookies from subway
then i was insulting SOMEBODY lol
say that person retarded
then the subway person heard it
he quite nice
greet us by saying YO [is that considered nice?]
then we keep fighting
then the subway guy was lyk
are you two siblings?
and i was lyk
WHAT?! I DONT LOOK ANYTHING LIKE THAT FREAK BESIDES ME
(no offence luh, dun fa pi qi, its only a joke)
and i was lyk
eewwwww
bleah
LOL
then the subway guy was like
"its ok to fight but the most important thing is that you two are close"
and i was lyk
why would i want to be close to somebody as retarded as that retard?
LOL
then the subway guy laughed
the subway guy ish nice
LOL

then afterwards i fa pi qi coz that SOMEBODY insulted me
i went 711 wanna buy mashed potatoes
then it was BROKEN
only white liquid-y stuff came out [eww]
but it smelled nice luh
LOL
then i seriously wanted to laugh
but i was trying to FA PI QI-ing
in the end oso cAnnot control my laughter :D
had super fun luh
better than staying at home
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FUNNER if somebody wud stop saying im crazy
EHEM EHEM
LOL
:p

tomorow got church. rachel coming! yeah
i wish cheyenne coming
i really wish she could come
sigh
but she got tuition
SOBS

o1 - The 4th person who tag/pass you is .
RACHEL HUANG SHI YUN

o2 - Your relationship with him/her is .
MY nicey nicey FRIEND LOH lol why am i typing in caps

o3 - Your four impression of him/her .
irritating, LOL but fun, wise and sometimes weird LOL

o4 - The most memorable thing he/she had done for you .
told me stuff about God. helped me alot

o5 - The most memorable thing he/she had said to you .
"you owe me a kiss" hahaha or "you are loved too"

o6 - If he/she become your lover, you will .
die. im not a less. :D

o7 - If he/she become your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be .
erm not be angry so easily

o8 - If he/she become your enemy, you will .
make up and be friends haha

o9 - If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be .
hurt each other [sometimes we do]

10 - The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is .
kiss her coz i owe her a kiss LOL [and on the cheeks. dun think wai]
11- Your overall impression of her is.
she's the person i turn to when i wanna die LOL

QUESITON 12, 13 and 14 have gone somewhere over the rainbow LOL

14 - On the contrary, the characters you hate yourself are .
super sensitive and xiao qi. sometimes that causes me to hate myself ARGH

15 - The most ideal person you want to be is .
nobody. coz i love myself
16 - For people that care and like you, say something to them .
i love you all like family. :D you all rock and if you need somebody to talk to, i'll be waiting :D

17- List eleven people that come to your mind (:

1. Cheyenne
2. Rachel Huang
3. Crystal Kong
4. Tofu
5. Jambu / Jamie
6. Nicole
7. Yi rong
8. Haris
9. Jennyfer
10. Hillary
11. Him
18 - Who is 06 having relationship with?
nobody. sadly. CHEER UP DEAR

19 - Is 09 a male or female?
a male. just kidding LOL

20 - If 07 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
no. no. 4 will cry and kill himself LOL

21- Will no.2 and no.6 work out?
i dunno about no.6 but no.2 needs friends to go motivate her to work out LOL

22 - What is no.2 studying about?
mass communications and a doctarate degree. JUST KIDDING SHE IS A SECONDARY ONE STUDENT. HAHAHA

23 - When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?
erm yesterday afternoon (:

24 - What kind of music band does no.8 like?
OH SHOOT. lemme think. DOES HARRY POTTER MUSIC COUNT? LOL

25. Does no.1 have any siblings?
yes. ALL THE JIEMEIS are her siblings-technically

26. Will you woo no.3?
no. she isnt my type.
JUST KIDDING hahaha
no she's my da jie

27 - How about no.7?
EW. who would want to woo HIM? hahaha

28 - Is no.4 single?
NO. HE;S WITH NUMBER T**. OMG thats either.. her or her LOL:D

29 - What is the surname of no.5?
LIM S.C lol just kidding
LIM Z.E

30 - What 's the hobby of no.10?
brooding and being a loner. no offence LOL oh
and looking into the mirror and telling herself that she;s pweety

31 - Does no.5 and 9 get along well?
they dont know each other :( so sad

32 - Where is no.2 studying at?
in antartica
LOL

33. -Talk something casually about no.1.
she is seriously nice luh and she is so beautiful inside and out and i love her to bits. she is my mei :D

34- Have you ever tried developing feelings for no. 6?
=.= go answer that yourself

35- Where does no. 9 live
orchard i think

36-whats no,4;s fav colour
how would i know? red coz he is super romantic to H****** hahaa

37- are no. 5 and 1 best friends
yep they are :D

38- does no. 1 have pets?
she's in love with them LOL

39- is no, 7 the sexiest person in the world?
if he was, the world will turn upside down and there would be world peace and no more global warming and YOUGETTHEPOINT

40- wat is no. 6 doing now?
i have no idea.
eating dinner perhaps?

2008-08-13T04:43:00.000-07:00

im telling you this
the person in dance who puts me down
i dont give a CARE in the world if you contiinue to give me dirty looks, glares WHATEVER
you know what you are?
somebody that judges others without EVEN KNOWING THEM!
do you know me? NO.
N. O. NO
so u better shut up
do you know it makes you LOOK BAD
when you bully me infront of my friends
they'll think
what kind of person is this
and so what if you think im a LOSER
we all know whose the loser here
you still asking who?
YOU
I DONT CARE IF YOUR NOT GOING TO READ THIS.
I DONT CARE
I WONT LET YOU PULL ME DOWN
NOT NOW. NOT EVER
i am a child of God
and in God's eyes i am BEAUTIFUL

you can say whatever you want

YOUR JUST INSULTING GOD'S CREATION

i dont need you to shape me or my confidence
i have an AWESOME GOD
my loving family
and
friends who care

you are not going to PULL ME DOWN

and im not going to snap back at you
im not going to be as low as you

I DONT CARE.

2008-08-08T04:11:00.001-07:00

WHY is everybody so emo these days
including me
yeah im trying to pick myself up after one of those super emo days
and im trying to pick other people up too

all those people who are on the verge of giving up
dont
i might as well be giving myself a prep talk
but whatever LOL

keep on going (:
______________________________________

today went to bishan stadium!
most of the time boring luh
walk so far then sit down then
i just played sze ting's handphone
wahahaha

in the stadium sat next to nic and chey
then today my LAO DA was very happy
lol
she was in a good mood
so yeah!

and we got some cheapskate buns and soya bean milk [EW!] and a bottle of NE water

and peter chong said the water was filfthy
EXCUSE ME, do you know how expensive those things are PETER CHONG?
LOL

then afterwards we all go shopping centre
walked around to find places to eat
then i had to go
sigh so sad man
missed out on uber fun-ness
it was the only time nicole could hang out with us
THEN I HAD TO MISS IT
coz my mom said i have to rest

but super looking forward to church [for the first time in how many days WOW]
no keyboard, no stress LOL
(not saying i dun love it anymore)
and crystal cheyenne and rachel COMING TO MY CHURCH!!!
yeah!

got busy weekend
sat- chinese tuition MDM PAULINE BDAY! MY CHINESE TEACHER ROCKS MY SOCKS! LOL
love you Mdm pauline! u are the greatest chinese tuition teacher i have ever had. correct that, your the BEST tuition teacher!
she cooking for me SPAGHETTI! YUMMY! LOL
oso got science tuiton :( LOL tuition on national day GAWSH
then family going to dad's office which is really near the national stadium and you can actually see the NDP. according to my dad. and there's going to be FREE FOOD! (THE HIGHLIGHT!) and they say free face painting =.=

sunday- CHURCH! got FA, and my frens coming. wooo excited! inca oso coming back. INCA AND MICHAEL! WAHAHAHAA and i miss her and rachel and crystal and everybody and oso got FA and JY RACHEL AND JESSLYN FOR PRELIMS! :D

monday im going to say yiannie's house and going to drink all the milk
JUST KIDDING!

HAHAHA

and onemore thing

yi rong is a stalker :0

2008-08-04T04:10:00.001-07:00

TAGBOARD'S AT THE BOTTOM PEOPLE :D
think im gonna change so tat my taggie is actually visible

GAWSH
today halfy day
did i tell you that i messed up yesterday?
lol luckily ko willy, hendy and james forgive me
somebody told me it was obvious
AHHH so embarassing man
stupid transpose button

ok lets see
today
CCITP lesson nothing much
i accidentally deleted the window
then i had to redo it
then i forgot to change the jpg to gif
then had to redo AGAIN
then forgot to do the transparency
HAD TO REDO FOR THE THIRD TIME
oh my gawsh

i seriously wanted to pull my hair out
luckily xiu wei was there
xiu wei is FUN
love you dahling!

okays then got chinese
the chinese teacher suddenly in the middle of the lesson say JIA YOU NAN XI
and i was like ehh okay
and i was ABOUT to day dream
haha
i feel guilty man when i day dream in class
then ke lao shi catches me like how many times already
sian ah
LOL

then jet keep saying im gay
im not gay u bai chi
lol
no offence luh later u slap me
then i keep teasing crystal kong luh
haha i said
can i tell u a secret? do you find jamie gay?
then she told jamie! u bobo luh LOL
then jamie was lyk about to tell me off
then i was lyk
CRYSTAL DONT PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH
then jamie was lyk YEAH CRYSTAL
then we give her the naggy face
then she was lyk WHAT? OK SORRY
hahaha

then we had P.E!!!
lol
for like 2/3 of the period i had to practice for tennis assesment
i sucked man
hit the ball wrongly coz so used to playing the badminton way
then after tt i chiong to the T-zone that place
coz the rest of the girls go there already
then the boys in the end never play catching but play volleyball
so we were all bored like sian
then hillary, jia le and sze ting go join them
they very pro in volleyball luh
but hillary not pro luh
she noob
LOL

then in the end, me, haris, crystal k, jamie, yi rong, cheyenne go play truth and dare
LOL
luckily i was picked last so i didnt have to do the dare
that haris gave me
which was be seductive to crystal
LOL
then at first we dare [omg i accidentally pressed F1, stupid me anyways]
erm crystal kong
tell her to stadn on the table and shout out the colour of her underwear
and she actually did
but nobody listened luh
ayoo except for me and the people playing t&d
then crys dare haris to stand on the chair
shake his hips
and
shout out loud tt he is a sexy boi
CRYSTAL U ARE SO...
hahaha

then oh yeah
we dared jamie to hug yi yuan
yi yuan freaked out luh
haha

then Pe finish i go home with hill
raining very heavily
then we go 7-eleven
she treat me mango juice!
actually not really treat, had to put in 10 cents coz she bankrupt
hahaha but still

then my mom call, sae wanna eat lunch with me
so i persuaded hillary to walk around anchorpoint for 10 mins
lol
then we go dvd shop
then she go see the mean girls dvd
she noob lah, never watch the movie
LOL
then she sae she wanna watch red cliff with me
eeyer where's your taste?
then she wants to save her money to buy a indiana jones dvd
isnt that...
ok lah dun wan to offend indiana jones fans
though i have nothing against him
SHE IS SO NOOB MAN
[how many times did i sae tt? better not say anymore later a CERTAIN SOMEBODY will come and kill me for teasing his beloved too much =.=]

yeah! ok thats all
lol

listening to healer again
its such an amazing song
IM NOTHING WITHOUT HIM

loves!

healer

2008-08-03T01:19:00.001-07:00

omg i stumbled upon this video
and even though i know this song inside out
it still made me cry
sang this in hillsong concert
the lyrics just stuck to me

yeah this guy, called mike, he's like super duper sick and he still has the strength to do this
he is amazing
you listen to the intro speech
touched me like siao
jy mike!

i know im not perfect
but with God, everything's ok
i love my God :D

FOUNDERS DAY :D

2008-08-02T04:22:00.000-07:00

lalalala

yesterday was super duper fun
haha

went to rach;s house first
then crys styled my hair and put gatsby on it
lol
then she put so much gatsby
look like got dandruff loh
LOL
then her hair stick out
then i sae
she looks like sharon osbourne
HAHA

then we all eat together at food court
chiong like siao scared we late sia
then cheyenne and crystal both spilled their miso soup
lol
then i spill some of my drink
haha

then we hurry eat finish
then we walking to school
got buss 33 come
so we go run like siao and scream like siao
still miss thebus
LOL
then we arrive at school
not late
heng ah

lol
i was wearing short skirt, rachel lent me

then in the field
sat next to yappy and rach
kept disturbing xiu wei, say yian and cass LOL
then we stood on the chairs and
got one song, me and yappy tried jumping on the chairs
scary sia..
behind me got yi rong and martin. yi rong keep disturbing me lah
push the chair what else bang the sticks thingy till my ear sore
then one of his stick thingy broke or smth
haha
SERVES YOU RIGHT

then the most funnest part was
the part where they sang tell the world
OMG SO FUN
all the 6 jie meis plus yappy and st (i think))
go infront and jumpi like siao
then we all make a line
then we all run around the field
reminds me so much of bible camp

didnt know my school was so...
FUN!

then haris acted in his drama
all the girls were like screaming like siao for him loh

haris you so rawked last night! LOL

yesterday was duper fun man!

will never forget the fun-ness

btw
yi rong is IRRITATING !

peace- thats all i want right now

2008-07-31T04:40:00.000-07:00

these couple of days i am so tired
mentally and physically
sometimes i feel like im at the brink and im like one cm away from breaking down
there's like so much pressure and i think too much on what others perceieve of me
and this one big problem in my life has just been solved
but that unpeace is still there

i hvnt been spending enough time for God
i so badly want to have a relationship with Him
but i never try

im always dependant on friends
and they let me down how many times alrdy
human beings are imperfect right?

peace. thats what i want

beautiful dance :)

2008-07-27T04:57:00.001-07:00

just changed skin
omg so tired
LOL

TAGBOARD must scroll down all the way ahhh
think going to change skin again

:(
TAG

2008-07-26T04:51:00.000-07:00

hi
nancy: hi arnt u jon!
jon: "yes who are u"
n: im nancy crystal fren
jon: oh hi! so ur nancy
n: yup! hi so have u kissed crys
j: well thats for eu to noe and for me to find out
n": OMGG
j: huh?
N: ui KISSED HER!!!
j: i never said tt
N: i noe u did tell the truth
j: fine i kissed her
n: oh my im jealous
j: why
n: coz....
...................
......................
IM IN LOVE WITH YOU

j: omg

i dun love eu
n: but i do

j: oh well my heart belongs to crystal'
n: oh ok
j: do u think i shud marry her
n: yes u shud!!!
j: ok i will
i will buy her a 3 million dollr ring
n: ok good for eu

*runs away crying*
-THE END-
btw the above sotry is completely fictional and you shall not take it to hear for nancy does not lyk her bf's bf :D applause is needed to show appreciation

LOL so funny but lame lah
made this up for crys and ITS NOT TRUE U PPL WHO THINK ITS TRUE.
i hvnt even met him before

CRYSTAL AND JONN SITTING ON A TREE K I S S I N G

everything skit video :D

2008-07-24T04:44:00.000-07:00

watch this
the drama speaks for itself
it is awe-inspiring
i am nothing without Him

haiz i am so tired
after playing audi
LOL

i miss you so much. i sms you never reply maybe because your handphone got problem? nevermind i wish we could be like last time.

ART :D

2008-07-22T04:40:00.000-07:00

muahahaha
today art was SUPER FUN!
LOL
i was walking around after i finished painting my stuff
then i walked to amos and haris's table
then i took a brush and starting brushing amos's sketchbook in black
he was like
WHAT! DONT!!
haha
and haris was emo-ing
dont emo haris you must SMILE coz u got alot of friends like ME so dun need to care about him lah! :D

and amos and me were complaining about a certain somebody LOL
then i went to rachel de table
then you know her art work was suppose to be GLORY but i read it as GLOD.
hahaa
so funny

i went to eunice de table
then i was talking to eunice about somebody
LOL
and she was blushing like siao
and i accidentally painted on say yianiees hand LOL
and i was blabbing about some nonsensical stuff in chinese
and xiu wei wass like WHAT ARE YOUT ALKNG ABOUT?
and the whole gang were looking like me like i crazy person
LOL

then i was irritating jia le and hillary
kept disturbing them
:D :D
and yi rong is a irritating person
the whole time keep shoving my barbie ruler in rachel's face
and keep giving me scary faces
I NOT SCARED OF YOU YII ROONNNGG

and whatever i dont care how to spell bai chi or bai ci or whatevr FISH RICE
so fun doodling on fish rice's book :D
40 dollars not worth it for such a emo-book
no offence rachel and jet :D lol

normal boring day?

2008-07-21T04:31:00.000-07:00

today was boooorrinngg

let me tell you all the interesting STUFF

1) CRYSTAL CUT HER HAIR.. muahahaha she looks like sharon osbourne. when i told her that, she was like "Who?" LOL
2) I LEARNT how to pronounce the word bai ci.. or whatever. courtesy of yappy jamie and jet LOL still cant really get it and no i am not a bai ci because..
3) i did well for my chinese test (: yeah!
4) dance was fun! haha seniors took over the dancers who were'nt performing. then sheree kept screaming on top of her lungs to lyk tell us to RUN FASTER. haha and it wasnt in a fierce way.. it was lyk funny. then had to do all the pt stuff.. so tiring
5)during pe was so fun. me, chey, crys and jamie did that chinese taichi dance haha
and mr lum saw it and he was looking at us like we siao like that.. haha actually we looked really crazy doing the dance.
6) me= "hows your brother?"
eunice ong="he's fine."
me="do you find him hot?"
eunice="yes i do. he IS hot"
me: o.0 omg eunice
eunice=" WHAT?"
me= "ok im freaked out"
ya fan=" how could you eunice?"
eunice= "WHAT?"
tin mei=" dont think wai"
hahhahaa

nothing else leh.. today was so boring
rachel told me alot of stuff about God
really interesing
more interesting than the preaching in my church
no offence ko omar if by any chance u are reading this

hahaa

and today CCITP we ended early and i was runnig around trying to tell everybody to tag my blog. blantant advertising :D LOL
okays :D tag meee people nothing more to writeabout

LOVES <3

2008-07-18T21:50:00.000-07:00

coudnt post for like one week because of tests =.=
they were ok except for science.. think i will do badly for that

yeah yesterday went to rach;s house with crys k
was SUPPOSED to excersise but just slacked in her room
haha sorry for blowing bandung onto your shirt rachel (:
then i saw an archie comic on her table
so i asked her to lend me first
then crystal k oso wanted it
she wanted it badly
lol
then rachel decided to give her
coz she was like begging
no offence
hahaa not meaning as a insult

then crystal k had to leave
she very blur haah
(not meaning to insult you dar)
dunno her way back homee
haha
then i stayed for a while longer
we watched "the strangers" trailer on youtube
so scarry
i ran off to her room halfway

then i dared rachel to watch the chucky trailer
she didnt dare coz she scared of dolls
LOL

anyways in school i nearly wanted to burst into tears during maths
stupid immature boys
me and rach were passing notes
then max go suddenly grab
(i take back on what i said during arts, your just as immature as the others)
its private
and what the hell they
go pass around
then the teacherr saw
coz yappy kept yelling at them to give it bacfk
then max was lyk
"you see.. they all passingnotes.. wanna see?'"
what the hell lah
first u snatch away the notes rudely
then u anyhow want to put in trouble

luckily the replacement teacher
quite nice
she knows what
MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS means
and she told them to give it back

i agree with rachel
do you guys know what the word "gentleman" means?
obviously not
so immature
insult, grab our stuff then throw it away, kick our bags, step on our backs, hit us [ehem ehem yi rong] what else ah?
learn to grow up man

like if you cant learn to respect girls
dunno how u going to grow up

you all say peter chong is immature
then you lok at yourselfs lah
peter chong hardly insults girls
you keep insulting haris
say he gay
at kleast i respect him more than you all
he wont insult girls anyhow
unlike you all

oh c'mon
grow up man

LASTMINUTECRAMMING :D

2008-07-12T04:25:00.000-07:00

haiz tomorow got CHURCH not that im not looking forward to it
IM PLAYING KEYBOARD
but got one song i donno know to play
and i cant depend on jen for the chords
ahhhh
LASTMINUTECRAMMING

today dance so boring
i just sat there doing nothing
a part of me wants to be in the performance
but like another part of me keeps telling me im not good enough
maybe i can understudy somebody
and miss lim will let me perform
though im not so good

i wish i was in guitar
but cant change the past
i heard this quote
" the past is history, today is a gift and tomorrow is a mystery" or smth like tt
thats why
gift and present is connected
NEVERMIND IF YA DONT UNDERSTAND
haha

pray for me so i wont mess up tomorrow

we're going dance dance dance in the freedom we know
lalala

___________________________________________________________________
what is your problem?
im not going to go on my knees and beg for forgiveness
i have dignity

look around you man
your like pushing me away
its not my fault
i have friends who i can go out with, not meaning to be proud
and i still want to reach out to you
and talk to you
and still you take it for granted and think i will always always be the one apologizing?
do you know whats the meaning of
give and take

hello

2008-07-10T04:52:00.000-07:00

thank you to all the people who cared
which are....

my dahling wifey amanda LOL "yup ur the best wifey i ever haddd in my whole entire life LOL loves!"
haris my gan ge :D "W/O U , i wud have been in a ultra depressed mode LOL"
rachell sushi girl "thanks for like being there for me throughout and making me laugh when im sad :)"
ci becky "your so nice man! thanks for giving me confidence"
crystal kong "thanks for calling me up and praying for me. love you da jie!"
cheyenne "thanks for praying for me and caring and tagging haha <3 u xiaomei!"
sze ting "haha thanks for tagging my blog and caring! "

ermm who else ah
if i missed anybody pls tell me coz my mind kind of messed up now LOL

2008-07-07T04:14:00.000-07:00

God help me
im drowning in sadness
i just dont want to shed anymore tears
i wish that feeling of hurt would go away
i dont know what to feel
my heart is still hurting every second now whenever i think about it
i know what i should do
i wont talk bad about people who have talked bad about me
i will forgive
i will learn to forget
and let the things in the past be in the past
i never want to repeat what i've gone through
i just want assurance
for once in my life

thank you to all the people who have been there for me
im still fighting
even though im still fighting these demons in my life
i believe one day
i will be confident
and i will learn to let go

________________________________

im not asking you to accept me
im just asking you to understand how i would feel

im not going to do anything
do you know how damn hard it is to heal a broken heart?
i've had friendships that ended up broken
i never ever wanted to let this happen
you know how insecure i am
do you know how much i trust you?
i thought you felt that i was your best friend too
was i? was i ever?
i dont give a damn if your close to her
im not even interested in fighting for anything now

all i ever wished was to have a friendship with you
i just wish you cared about me more

do you know how hard it is to overcome what im going through? i wish you would say you love me, i wish that i could be assured that everything was okay. i dont know whats going on man, i just wish for this to STOP.

__________________________________________

2008-07-06T04:13:00.000-07:00

our dahling food stall. loves <3 (anna in the pic)

omg i suddenly have no mood to blog
im crying now
so yeah
sorry
byeee i will get back to you WHENEVR
WHATEVER
sigh

all i need is you

2008-07-03T04:14:00.000-07:00

Chains be broken
Lives be healed
Eyes be opened
Christ is revealed

i just cant feel you God.
im sorry for what i did

i want to feel that passion for you again
im lost in this world full of sin
i love you God
i need you.

all i need is you

tell the world that Jesus lives

2008-07-01T04:27:00.000-07:00

READ THIS , it's scary but amazing
Click Here

YEAH WENT TO WATCH MOVIE at the library
with jamie and crys at school library, only 6 ppl come including us and like the movie was BEAN, AND IT WAS FUNNY, but like i had to go before it ended so sorry da jie and er jie (:

(im starting to get on with the jiemei thing coz i find it sweet but i wont say it to nicole or rach coz its uncomfortable to them haha)

jamie! it may look like she's sleeping but she was sending some stuff to her handphone so yeah

kevin, jared, arthur. HAHA and BEAN!

during geog me and crys were talking like siao aboutGod :p
and during art i had lots of fun talking to chey and crys and jamie about REVELATIONS
and irritating tin mei by telling her how much i LOVE her

tin mei your hot and sexy
i lovess you! :

tell the world that Jesus lives (:

2008-06-30T04:14:00.000-07:00

i want to testify to my friends about Je
Today i am happy because i told cheyenne, crys k, jamie more about God (:
dont worry chey, i will keep praying for them :D

i feel sad too because some people try to pull you down for no reason at all
i know of this particular girl who always wants to pull me down and
"hates me because im hyper". i am happy, and i show it, i dont go walking around being moody because i have Jesus and my life is awesome. So so what if you dont like me because i did not do anything to you, its your problem really. oh well, i will still be nice to her. i dont care how much she is mean to me because i have a loving God, and awesome family and caring friends.

Lord i love you so much
i want to please you
and this sat rach is asking me if i can go her church service
please let my parents agree
because i want to feel your presence

i hope life can stay this way, no problems nothing
but if there are problems, i want to face them with You Jesus (:

this song is an awesome awesome song, hear the lyrics carefully and you will be touched, i cried because this song reminded me of how much God has done for me, especially when He sent His son to come down to this sinful earth and die for our sins. I love you God <3

Lyrics:

SO YOU WOULD COME

Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cry
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Could make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come

2008-06-29T04:30:00.000-07:00

I CAN FINALLY ADD PICS TO MY BLOG thanks to my dad
I LOVE YOU DAD! :D

eww i look retarded
crys looks hot :D

jessica , crystal's sis, she is pweety and sweet :D LOL

sexy beatrice, our awesome FA leader WHOOPS!

OMG CHEESECAKE! and COFFEE EQUAL TCC! haha I LOVE TCC
its so artsy but the food is yum
let the pics speak for themselves (:

cheesecake plus fruit plus cranberry saucey thing plus bread stick plus vanilla ice cream = YUM!

coffee. nice cofffee :D but kind of bitter

and tcc's service rocks too. WOO

OMG MY LIFE SO ROCKS.
LOL
i have a great great God and i have a rockin family and awesome friends

and i thank God for everything

LOVES! :D